I’m an Architect. I’m the most interesting man in the room.
I’m wearing all black. I’m near sighted, but have compensated with extremely attractive and/or expensive eyewear. I have radical mood swings. But, only on the inside. You’d probably never know what I’m thinking. And, I’m sure I wouldn’t tell you.
I have excellent taste in …. almost everything. Just ask me. I am brooding right now. Over in the corner, sipping my cosmo (because I can pull that off). I’m not approachable, I’ve worked on that for years. I seem like I know things. Dark things. Perfectly aligned symmetrical things. But nothing about things that you want to talk about. I would rather talk about Richard Serra or Edward Hopper, or we could discuss Diebenkorn if you’d like. No, I am not going to talk about architecture. I never talk about architecture. We can talk about television. Mad Men? yes… Inside the Actors Studio? of course, but ideally Inspector Morse ca. 1988. Or we could just discuss cars.
More after the break.
1. Architects broke it
It’s probably our fault to begin with. I don’t really know the exact numbers, but Buildings use more fossil fuels than cars, construction debris makes up the highest percentage of our landfills, building roofs and parking lots account for the majority of storm water run-out issues, and Market driven greed for greater and greater return on investment fueled a decade of speculative office and housing developments at a scale never seen before. And, now entire communities sit vacant and waiting for a recovery that may never happen. Can Architects be trusted to come up with solutions for problems we played a major role in causing in the first place?
More reasons after the break:
Yeah, Hi… Is Svehn in?
- He is, can I say who’s calling.
Umm, sure, it’s Cameron, from United Chicken Inc.
- Can I tell him what this is regarding?
Well, ok, ummm… You sent me some preliminary drawings and I have a few questions.
- Ok, please hold…
“….Tall and tan and young and lovely, The girl from Ipanema goes walking, And when she passes…”
- Hi Cameron, It’s Svehn, what can I do for you?
An Architect’s Dress code (Revised 9-12-11)
Employees contribute to the culture and reputation of the SVEHN JØSSANG ATELJE in the way they present themselves. An Architectural appearance is essential to a favorable impression with clients, and company shareholders (ie. Svehn). Good grooming and appropriate dress should reflect an employee’s confidence in his/her aesthetic convictions and inspire others to realize that they are dressed unimaginatively. An Architect’s attire should be minimal yet condescending at the same time.
Maybe these could be my new Twitter bio. Or, we could just think of it as an elevator speech…
for the lonely.
Editor’s note: We are happy to introduce you to Jody Brown, the architect behind the popular blog Coffee with an Architect. Starting this week, we will have periodic “cups of coffee” with him to talk about the usual things that are common to us, the architects.
New Autocad Command Shortcuts after the break: