I can’t believe I’ve written this blog for over a year and never bothered to define Architecture. A glaring ommission to be sure. Perhaps I could get some help on this one? What’s a good definition of “Architecture” ?

Quality may be as much about perception as it is about reality. It could be that the idea behind the design is less important than the public’s opinion of the design. If you’re trying to appeal to a wide market; if you’re trying to reach an affluent demographic; If you want your work to catch-on; to scale; to go viral? Well, It’s all about how you pitch the idea, right? It’s not just about the elegance of the work, it’s about the strength of the perception. And, it all starts with a good slogan. Architect’s still need a good slogan.

*lights dim and powerpoint presentation begins*

Dear Mr. Architect,

I would like to clarify a few things that you may have misunderstood during the design process. Please don’t get me wrong. In general we are very pleased with the house, ummm, I mean… “living-experiment”, (Did I get that right?) We’re just a little concerned about our marriage.

Granted, we said we wanted an “open” and “airy” bathroom, however, my husband and I do not enjoy showering in full view of our neighbors. The guy next door will not stop calling me. He also seems to have purchased a telescope. We would like to install blinds. Could you recommend a manufacturer? Would some kind of curtains work? Please advise.

K

Keystone: (noun) – Key-shaped stone at the top of the arch used to open a secluded vault in Egypt containing the secret to all Architectural success. The vault may be empty, and booby trapped.

L

Light: (noun) – The illumination at the end of the tunnel which has been turned off due to lack of financing.

Linear: (noun) – The shortest distance between your ideals and your client’s pocketbook.

Lintel: (noun) – A bean-soup used to span window openings.

Loggia: (noun) – A gallery or corridor on the façade of a building, open to interpretation on one side.

{ more definitions after the break }

1. Architects are not leaders

In fact, we wait to follow. Architecture is a service profession. Clients hire us to help implement their vision, if we’re lucky. Or, they hire us because of a legal obligation to have a licensed professional seal a set of drawings, when we aren’t lucky. We don’t define the needs of the community; in fact, we usually don’t even recognize them on our own. We need a patron to guide us. Until then, we wait, for instructions.

2. Architects are not relevant

We are losing (or have already lost) our position in the public conscience. Don’t believe me? Just ask a stranger what an Architect does. They’ll have no idea, or worse, they’ll think Architecture is for someone else; someone with more disposable income; someone with more elite taste; someone more urbane; someone with different priorities; someone else; but not them. We have systematically put ourselves and our profession into the margins of society.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being an Architect. I’ve been an Architect almost as long as I haven’t been an Architect (don’t try to do the math, please) and at this point I really can’t imagine doing anything else. Actually, I can’t imagine “being” anything else. It’s become more than a profession. It’s become part of the definition of who I am. But, no one really told me it would change every aspect of my perception of the world. No one told me it was going to get under my skin.

No one ever told me, that when you’re an Architect:

30 All-Time Great Architecture Movie quotes:

30. Of all the Architecture in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

29. You Architectin‘ to me? You Architectin’ to me? You Architectin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you Architectin’ to? You Architectin’ to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the f**k do you think you’re Architecting to?

28. Mrs. Architecture, you’re trying to seduce me… aren’t you?

27. Say hello to my little Architecture.

26. Hasta la vista, Architecture.

25. I’ve always depended on the kindness of Architecture.

I’m an Architect. I’m the most interesting man in the room.

I’m wearing all black. I’m near sighted, but have compensated with extremely attractive and/or expensive eyewear. I have radical mood swings. But, only on the inside. You’d probably never know what I’m thinking. And, I’m sure I wouldn’t tell you.

I have excellent taste in …. almost everything. Just ask me. I am brooding right now. Over in the corner, sipping my cosmo (because I can pull that off). I’m not approachable, I’ve worked on that for years. I seem like I know things. Dark things. Perfectly aligned symmetrical things. But nothing about things that you want to talk about. I would rather talk about Richard Serra or Edward Hopper, or we could discuss Diebenkorn if you’d like. No, I am not going to talk about architecture. I never talk about architecture. We can talk about television. Mad Men? yes… Inside the Actors Studio? of course, but ideally Inspector Morse ca. 1988. Or we could just discuss cars.

More after the break.

1. Architects broke it

It’s probably our fault to begin with. I don’t really know the exact numbers, but Buildings use more fossil fuels than cars, construction debris makes up the highest percentage of our landfills, building roofs and parking lots account for the majority of storm water run-out issues, and Market driven greed for greater and greater return on investment fueled a decade of speculative office and housing developments at a scale never seen before. And, now entire communities sit vacant and waiting for a recovery that may never happen. Can Architects be trusted to come up with solutions for problems we played a major role in causing in the first place?

More reasons after the break:

Yeah, Hi… Is Svehn in?

- He is, can I say who’s calling.

Umm, sure, it’s Cameron, from United Chicken Inc.

- Can I tell him what this is regarding?

Well, ok, ummm… You sent me some preliminary drawings and I have a few questions.

- Ok, please hold…

“….Tall and tan and young and lovely, The girl from Ipanema goes walking, And when she passes…”

- Hi Cameron, It’s Svehn, what can I do for you?

An Architect’s Dress code (Revised 9-12-11)

Employees contribute to the culture and reputation of the SVEHN JØSSANG ATELJE in the way they present themselves. An Architectural appearance is essential to a favorable impression with clients, and company shareholders (ie. Svehn). Good grooming and appropriate dress should reflect an employee’s confidence in his/her aesthetic convictions and inspire others to realize that they are dressed unimaginatively. An Architect’s attire should be minimal yet condescending at the same time.

Maybe these could be my new Twitter bio. Or, we could just think of it as an elevator speech…

for the lonely.

Editor’s note: We are happy to introduce you to Jody Brown, the architect behind the popular blog Coffee with an Architect. Starting this week, we will have periodic “cups of coffee” with him to talk about the usual things that are common to us, the architects.

New Autocad Command Shortcuts after the break: